Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
