All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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