My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
