Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
