Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
