he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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