He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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