My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
