umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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