peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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