did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just google imaged poop.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
