She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
