waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
nutella sex= disaster
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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