the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
