i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
