So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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