Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
