Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
