Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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