why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
