How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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