It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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