He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
