ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
