I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
