My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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