all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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