I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
