You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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