you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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