I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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