your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
