no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
