This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
