He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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