It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
