Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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