I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
