im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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