lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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