proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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