I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
