I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i will never coherently bang her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
