dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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