Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
