i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
