there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
