So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
