After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
