Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
