What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
