My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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